Sebastian returns home, somewhat drunk, and brings with him a lifesized standee of Amy Pond from Doctor Who. He falls asleep on the sofa and morning comes around as Lucy comes in to find her drunken husband having a a sex dream about actress babe Scarlett Fox. She is less than impressed and annoyed that he didnt come bed. They discuss Sebastian's day at the sci-fi convention (explaining why he is dressed as Captain Kirk), and that she's been... reading a book! She also states that she's got a rehearsal for a play with Archie in a bit. He doesn't know anything about Archie... or the play. She goes to get dressed and then notices that she's redecorated the house to look like their old one. To stop him from being angry she tickles him and he ends up rolling on the floor. The pair are surprised to find someone staring at them. Eric Lamb has come back from holiday to find the pair now living in his house. They bought the house from his parents who have now moved without telling their oddball son. He is understandably upset. He goes and has a cry in the bathroom.
Archie arrives and Sebastian behaves very oddly, making his presence felt. Arche doesn't seem too bothered. Lucy sends Sebastian to go and get changed while she and Archie rehearse. She tells Archie that she's nervous and he tells her he'll look after her, placing his hand on her leg. She moves away uncomfortably but unzips her top suggestivly as she offers to rehearse the kissing scene. At the mention of this Sebastian bursts on stage and wants to kick Archie out. Lucy indignantly accuses him of spying... he doesn't care though, he wants Archie gone until Archie says that he knows Scarlett Fox. Sebastian doesn't believe him at first and makes him prove it, so Archie invites Scarlett over (as she happens to be having a DVD day with his sister). Excitedly, Sebastian continues to get dressed as Lucy and Archie go to the bedroom to carry on rehearsing in the bedroom. Eric emerges from the toilet and asks Sebastian for a hug, and afterwards some orange juice. Sebastian doesn't have any and Eric gets a little wound up and goes out to get some. Archie reappears and announces that Scarlett is nearly there. Scarlett arrives and Sebastian behaves all fake-manly, but to Lucy's annoyance. Lucy takes Archie to keep rehearsing in the bedroom while Scarlett is left with Sebastian. She explains about how she came to star in the film 'Pixie Dust', and awkwardly the topic ends up on Scarlett's chest. She offers him the chance to feel to see if they're real - an offer which is denied by the arrival of Lucy who has been spying like Sebastian was earlier. The two girls have a catfight which Sebastian has to break up, accidently groping Scarlett. Lucy gets angry and ends up squirting sauce over Archie, forcing him to take his shirt off.
At this point, the action is broken with the appearance of Sebastian's younger sister Rhiannon, who is having a relationship crisis with her boyfriend Andy. She is no longer interested in men... until she sees the scantily clad Archie. Lucy sprays him with more sauce and he takes off his trousers to reveal... a large 'package'. Everyone "wows", even Sebastian. Lucy takes Archie to clean him up, while Rhiannon recognises Scarlett as Sebastian's obsession. Scarlett's had enough and leaves. Rhiannon calls for Lucy as Sebastian isn't giving good advice. Sebastian goes after Scarlett. Archie is left alone to reveal the secret behind his package... a sausage.
Everyone returns and Lucy decides that she and Rhiannon both need a drink and Archie is to join them. She then tells Scarlett to go ahead and have sex with Sebastian, not that he could do anything about it, he gets too nervous. Scarlett insults her, causing her to leave, followed by the other two. Sebastian goes to tell Scarlett to go but she starts talking about them having 'fun'... which would be a dream come true for him. He refuses though, stating that he loves Lucy. Lucy returns for Archie's clothes, and viciously tells Scarlett that Sebastian has a small penis before leaving again. Sebastian, now angry and upset, kisses Scarlett and the pair head off to the bedroom.
Eric returns, now dressed as a superhero, but has nobody to tell his story to. Lucy returns looking for Sebastian... Sebastian runs back on and the pair reunite. She asks if he has done anything with Scarlett and he says he couldn't... Scarlett then emerges asking if he's found any 'protection' Lucy is devastated. Eric decides to use his superhero status to get rid of the villainous Scarlett... before going to bed. Lucy and Sebastian talk and Lucy says she's had enough, he needs to find somewhere else to stay. Archie and Rhiannon return, Rhiannon having got back with Andy. Sebastian goes off with Rhiannon. Archie asks if Lucy is okay, placing his hand on her again. She shrugs him off saying they she doesn't want to do the play anymore... and she thinks she will probably sort things out with Sebastian. She goes off for a drink. Archie sits down as Scarlett returns. It is revealed that the pair had a bet on to break the couple up and while Sebastian didn't have an affair with Scarlett, Lucy DID with Archie. Archie exits, contemplating Rhiannon as his next challenge... Scarlett is left to ponder people's morals as Eric reappears... and attacks the villain!